When one is experiencing heavy emotions, challenges, shifts, etc. the number one priority should be self-love. Why? Because it allows us to get out of your head and into our own loving nature. When we can love ourselves, we are teaching ourselves that we don’t need to rely on anyone else to make us feel better and loveable. Why would we give our power away like this? Yet, so many do because it is ingrained in our self-esteem – if others love us, like us, show us respect and appreciation, THEN I am loveable, and worthy of it. Let’s consider reversing this. If we can love ourselves, then we can discover that we are worthy, loveable, etc. no matter what others think. This then brings more love into our lives. What we broadcast, comes back to us. So, let’s take a look at some ways we can love ourselves:
#1: “I love you”. Say it to yourself. This simple statement, a little hokey in it’s simplicity, but effective nevertheless. It’s what we want to hear, right? So, say it to yourself in whatever way feels right – and as many times as you want, whenever you want. What do you want to say to yourself, and what do you want to hear?? Both can be taken into consideration. Here are some examples. “I love you. I will always be there for you. I will never go anywhere. You are so wonderful, beautiful. I love you always, forever, unconditional. It’s only you.. ” etc. Be the parent or Higher Self to your self.
#2: Ask your heart what it wants – truly genuinely – give her permission to tell you – and then listen.
#3: Do something special for your inner self just because you want to. Paint your nails with that special nail art you have been saving for a special occasion. Get a massage. Eat something really healthy and nourishing for the body because you love yourself. Or, eat some chocolate cake. Either way, enjoy it!
#4: Go to your safe place – ocean, beach, mountain, backyard, river, playground, wherever you go to be alone and give yourself some loving care.
#5: Don’t follow the mental thoughts or stories associated with the pain, discomfort, depression or whatever you are experiencing. Just allow yourself to try to tune in to the feelings and acknowledge them. In the end, it’s only feelings – that is the hardest part of the whole thing – it’s the feelings that hurt the most, and then our mind creates worst case scenarios, which make the feeling hurt more. Just feel the feelings – that is all that is needed. Everything else, we can’t control, plan or predict. But, we can allow the feelings to be there. Then, this lessens the discomfort, pain and conflict. Our heart, inner child, etc. just wants to be acknowledged. It is ok that she/he is feeling this way. Give her all the space needed to feel whatever she is feeling.
#6: Music, art, dance, exercise, gardening. Creative expressions and activity are a way to give us love and permission to feel and be whatever it is we are at that time and do things we love.
#7: Take the time and space you need from certain circumstances, people, etc. so you can manage your experience and feelings and honor your process. You will come out of it eventually, and then know it is the time to face this again.
#8: When you are ready to connect again – ask questions, express your self and say what is in your deepest heart to the people you need to say them to. Don’t disconnect forever. When you love yourself first, that love naturally wants to extend out to the universe in compassion and understanding. But, no need to push this. Just be open to it and let it happen naturally.